So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Randomize
