Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize