I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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