I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
