mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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