If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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