He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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