mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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