I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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