He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
