Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize