Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
