just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
