I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I am midnight drunk by noon
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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