im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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