Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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