Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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