just survived the first fart of the relationship.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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