you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
