Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
