My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My bed smells like the plague
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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