My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
