Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
