i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
