The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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