I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
