It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
