The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
