he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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