Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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