obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
