were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
