he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize