doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
