What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
