I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
