I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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