You're so nebulous sometimes
I just threw up on my dentist
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
