That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
