I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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