It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
That accounts for only three of the penises
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
