You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
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