its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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