love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
