Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
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