I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize