I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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