Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
