Yo dont text me then not text me
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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