Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
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sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
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I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.