Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
