He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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