you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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