We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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