You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
