Everything about him screamed your future.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
