this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
