I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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